I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
