Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
