dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
