White coat. Heels.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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