I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
where are my eyebrows?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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