Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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