I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
