oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
