I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
