coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
