...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the day after is always just damage control
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize