Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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