one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
