Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize