I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
