this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
