I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
