my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
