I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
