apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
