Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
