Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
God gave him joint rollers for hands
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
