First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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