How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
