She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
