how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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