I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
