Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
