His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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