ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize