and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
