yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
