Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
