This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
