You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
