Your face is a jimmy john
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
