i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
