i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
