I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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