he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
