Pants 0. Shit 1.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
