careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
