happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
