apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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