So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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