this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
