you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
