Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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