Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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