I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
