no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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