I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize