so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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