very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
