I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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