I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
