so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
