So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
