Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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