Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize