do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
